Lyrics to Songs Not Yet Recorded
Listed by where I was living when they were made up

Chippewa Falls 1974-1983
a white wood frame house by the Chippewa River, 20 below in the land of Leinenkugel's

Grampa Shine copyright 1976 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
We called him Grampa Shine ‘cause he was smiling all the time / Always making others laugh and sing / Wanted nothing for himself, just his friends and family’s health / And for all of us he’d do most anything / He had no hair upon his head, ‘It’s what’s inside,’ he said, / ‘That makes a man more than just a man. / There’s no sense in feeling sad,  / Take the good times with the bad, / Live life to the fullest that you can’ / Grampa Shine said to me, ‘Son, your life is just begun / While mine is very nearly at its end. / You’ll find it works out best to be concerned about the rest / You help yourself each time you help a friend.’ / We’d sit there all day long, as he told us in a song / Of his life and times out rambling on the road / As his stories grew and grew,  / His happy wisdom still came through / He tried to say. we reaped just what we sowed / Grampa Shine to me, ‘Bob, its your most important job / to make as many people happy as you can.’ / well he isn’t with us now, but it was he who showed us how / to be good to others...thank you, Grampa shine!

Take Me Back Home copyright 1977 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Take me back home where life still lives like yesterday / Take me back home hard times are all just used to be / I need a place to lay my head, a feather pillow for my bed / And time to think of things I've said / Take me back home / The city lights have stolen all my happiness / The crowded streets have filled me with their emptiness / My eyes are closed, still I can see, the only place I want to be / The roads reach out in front of me / To take me back home  / I need to find the things that really matter / But life's so short, it dwindles day by day / I've seen my dreams like broken mirrors shattered / On the road along the way / Take me back home where birds still sing up in the trees/  Take me back home return me to my memories / Ma and pa wait at the door, they know what I'm coming for / It's peace of mind and nothing more / Take me back home

Frenchtown Saturday Night  copyright 1978 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Cross that main street river bridge,  / Hurry down the south side of town / Happy people will welcome you to  / A Frenchtown Saturday night / You don’t have to be no king, / Just relax and do your thing / Pretty soon things start to swing on / A Frenchtown Saturday night / just walk in any place / they’re glad to see your face / order a beer, order a wine, a whiskey / or anything you choose / you’ll quickly realize  / there’s no place else like here / It’s a Frenchtown Saturday night / Hurry up, people don’t be late  / Don’t hesitate or procrastinate / Come alone or bring a date / It’s a Frenchtown Saturday night

I Can’t Do A Damn Thing  copyright 1977 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
I can't do a damn thing without you / I can't make it without you by my side / In chains to our passion, in bondage to our love / You're the only one who keeps me satisfied / You possess me with your mind and with your body / Make me do the things that I don't wanna do / But it seems I've got no choice I object but have no voice / I can't do a damn thing without you / Cryin' oooeee! gonna set out on the highway / Find somebody that'll set me free / Cryin' ooo no! I can't do a damn thing without you / I can’t get myself up in the morning / I can’t fix my coffee, cook my morning bread / My lonely life’s on hold, this empty bed is cold / There’s a sad dull pain that’s achin’ in my head / You possess me with your mind and with your body / Make me do the things that I don't wanna do / But it seems I've got no choice I object but have no voice / I can't do a damn thing without you / Cryin' oooeee! gonna set out on the highway / Find somebody that'll set me free / Cryin' ooo no! I can't do a damn thing without you

I Don't Care What You Call Me  copyright 1980 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
My daddy named me Robert,  / But some folks call me 'Bob' / My sweetheart calls me 'Loverboy',  / But I'm 'One-Man' on the job / Now if there's still a question in your mind / I don't care what you call me, / Please don't call me 'Late For Suppertime' / Down at the neighborhood tavern,  / People used to call me Slim / But it seems the more I eat and drink,  / The less I look like him / I guess I'll belly up and have another stein / I don't care what you call me, / Please don't call me 'Late For Suppertime' / Fancy people call’em omelets,  / To me they’re just scrambled eggs / When I sit at the kitchen table, / Plain food is all I beg / I s’pose that quiche and crepes and cordon bleu are fine / I don't care what you call me, / Please don't call me 'late for suppertime' I ain't gonna eat no escargot,  / Don't want no truffles too / Can't stand the taste of bouillabaise,  / That's just fishhead stew / If there's still a question in your mind / I don't care what you call me, / Please don't call me 'late for suppertime'

The Setting of the Sun  copyright 1979 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Summer's almost over the races all have been run / Horses all have been ridden / the wagers all have been won / Still the game isn't ended it seems like it's only begun / Spending our winnings together in the setting of the sun / We built our share of bridges crossed them one by one  Yeah, me and you might have burned quite a few / But the past’s in the past and it's done / Some people feel that they've got a good deal / They think that they have all the fun  But they never take time to see the reason and rhyme  In the setting of the sun

Watch a Little TV  copyright 1979 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Watch a little TV together in a chair / My arms around her fingers runnin' through my hair / After while we get a little crazy in the head / Turn off David Letterman go up to bed / Gee, it's great to be back home / I could spend my whole life here / No one like you on the road / Nothing else could quite compare  / Eat a little popcorn drink a little juice / Come on baby, what do you say? hey, let's get loose / We'll make a little whoopee pitch a little woo / Lord, I love you when you do the things you do

The Ballad of Dirty Jack and Diamond Lil  copyright 1980 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
His name was Dirty Jack and he was known throughout the land / His all-consuming passion, it was combat, hand-to-hand / He’d gouge your eyes, bruise your lips and spit right in your face / But Jack’s no longer dirty, he’s a man of style and grace / chorus: / He’s changed, he’s changed  / his reckless way of life is rearranged / A buxom, winsome miss stole his heart with just one kiss / Now there’s no more hit or miss because he’s changed / They said that Dirty Jack could fell a man with just a glance / Bad boys came from miles around to take a daring chance / Jack never lost a single match until, without a blow, / Cupid shot his little dart and laid that rounder low / chorus: / He met a girl named Diamond Lil ( he changed, he changed ) / She gave his big old heart a thrill ( he changed, he changed ) / She really put that tough guy down ( he changed, he changed ) / Their home is on the edge of town ( he changed, he changed ) / Now Jack and Lil are parents of two little baby boys / But those rotten tots refuse to play with little baby toys / They strangle rats and torture cats, beat up the neighbor kid / But Jack and Lil just smile and say remember what Jack did / chorus:

Million Dollar Mama  copyright 1981 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Mmm, my oh my mmm, my oh my / Million dollar mama thinks I'm just 5 and dime / Mama told me auntie told me too  / Mama told me auntie told me too / Million dollar mama will be the death of you / It's a 2 dollar meal, 3 dollar bed, / Pain in my pocket aching in my head / Beat me, Bang me, Bring me to my knees / Million dollar mama is impossible to please / Mmm, my oh my! mmm, my oh my! / Million dollar mama thinks I'm just 5 and dime / Nickel gets a shoeshine, dime gets a hat / Dollar for a sharkskin suit and polka dot cravat / A quarter buys a cab ride, a sawbuck buys the cops / Step inside the juke joint where the music never stops / Mmm, my oh my! mmm, my oh my! / Million dollar mama thinks I'm just 5 and dime

Soft Shoulders, Dangerous Curves  copyright 1982 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
chorus: / Soft shoulders and dangerous curves / Eatin' on my mind workin' at my nerves / All those highway signs remind me of her / Thinkin 'bout those soft shoulders and dangerous curves  All alone and lonesome rollin down the road / Back home in Wisconsin, I know it's freezin cold / Here in Luzianna, my rig is runnin' right / Lord I'd love to lay with her tonight / Thinkin' 'bout those  / chorus: / Just passed a driver in a no passin' zone / My mind so disconnected from these hours all alone / If baby was here with me, she could set me straight / 2 more days, boys I can hardly wait / Thinkin' 'bout those  / chorus: / Wipers slappin' almost nappin' tryin to stay awake / Think I better exit here and have a coffee break / Flashin' yellow indicates a detour up ahead / Wish I was home a-sleepin' in my bed / Next to those  / chorus: / Lights are flashin' horns are honkin' like a stock car race / In my mind my memory is fixed upon her face / Traffic on this interstate about to make me cry / A northbound sign's reflecting in my eye / chorus

Paradise in Her Eyes  copyright 1981 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Sometimes, when day is done, / I think about when we were one / And realize that paradise was in her eyes / Sometimes, just before dawn, / I might reach out and find her gone / And realize that paradise was in her eyes / We didn't fight, but it just wasn't right / So she left me to find it on her own / Sometimes, in the afternoon, / In fullest light I see the moon / And realize that paradise was in her eyes / We didn't change, we only rearranged / And sent up our secrets to the sky / Sometimes, in the fading light, / I think about our final night / And realize that paradise was in her eyes

Pipedreams (revisited)  copyright 1983 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
15, maybe 25 watt bulb on the ceiling / 6-legged something crawling up and down the wall / Can't remember where I been, don't know where I'm going / Just trying to pick myself up when I fall / chorus: / This life is definitely indefinite, certainly uncertain /Gotta take a chance and dance with reality / Forget about me! / Standin on one foot trying to get clean in a men's room / Green soap shave spillin blood speckles on the floor / 723-2428...for a good time / Kilroy was here but he ripped off the bathroom door / chorus: / Sleepin in the truck even though it's 9 below zero / Had to make a choice between food and a motel bed / Start the motor up, run the heater just a few minutes / Down sleeping bag, a guitar case under my head / chorus: / Money talks, honey walks,  / Mumbling words 'bout "the good life" / 3 square meals, a job and a bit of rest / Is it too much to ask for a lack of discomfort? / How can you win when there is no better or best? / chorus:

One Man’s Jeopardycopyright 1983 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
I spent most of my life and times in jeopardy / Trying to motivate between points A and B / Only one thing runnin through the back of my mind / How to get home safely to that woman of mine / chorus: / It’s a long hard road, trying to make a buck / Very little lovin and very little luck / A long hard road never seems to end / Looking for the pot of gold / At the rainbow’s end / I drove a million miles it seems white-knuckled at the wheel / Driving through the mountain passes, flying through by feel / Peered through the pouring rain, blinded by the snow / Still there’s only one thing that I absolutely know / chorus: / And when I die and my life flashes past my eyes / I’ll realize I wasn’t healthy, wealthy or wise / I slept too late, I drank too much and never gave a damn / But what you see is what you get, I am just who I am / chorus:

A Song about Life  copyright 1982 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Life is rough first it's there and then it's gone /Life is tough but you must keep on keepin' on / Life's a treat if you don't weaken / Let the bastards beat you down / Life is rough but it's the only game in town / I got a secret I will tell it here to you / Have no regret, just do the things you do / If you're doin' what you wanna / When St. Peter comes around / You'll be laughin' when they finally lower you down / Life is short, it's seldom sweet, it sometimes makes you mad / When it's gone you'll realize it really weren't half bad / Just enjoy it, hope the others like theirs too / Don't destroy it, nothin's gained by feelin blue / And if you're laughin' and a-gigglin' / 'Bout the way the world went round / If you're doin' what you want to / When they finally lower you down / If you can grin while all the bastards  / Try their best to beat you down / It was rough...but it was the only game in town

Leavin Home  copyright 1981 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Leavin home parts unknown / No time to cool my heels waiting for you to come home / Packed my bags threads and rags / I'm off down the road doing what I gotta do / She said to me / She didn't want me to be hanging around anymore / Well that's ok, I'm on my way / That's what these feet are for / I need time and space, where's my guitar case / Don't blink your eyes too much open'em up and I'm gone / She said to me  / What's your hurry, here's your coat and hat / I smiled and said you stay here,  / Mobility is where it's at / One more thing on my mind  / why did I stay so long? / I was just wastin my time

Ooh, Baby Ooh!  copyright 1982 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Ooh, baby ooh! honey when you do what you do / Ooh, baby ooh! honey when you do what you do / Make me wanna holler make me wanna go and follow you / Ooh, baby ooh! honey when you say what you say / Ooh, baby ooh! honey when you say what you say / Make me happy knowing I’m the only one you do this way / You got charm you got grace such a beautiful face / You got looks you got class I love the way you move your little / Ooh, baby ooh! honey when you do what you do / Make me wanna holler make me wanna go and follow you / You got looks you got style and such a beautiful smile / You got money to spare and I love to run my fingers through your / Ooh, baby ooh! honey when you do what you do / Make me wanna holler make me wanna go and follow you
 


Istanbul 1983-1988
Our first overseas experience.  Revelation.  A thousand minarets piercing the sky.  The most beautiful city on earth.

Bad, Bad Boy  copyright 1986  Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
chorus: / He's just a bad, bad boy just a bad, bad boy / He's just a low down, no good / Never does the things he should / Bad, bad boy / He's such a social disgrace he doesn't know his place / His behavior is a crying shame / He stays out late at night  / Plays till the morning light / Puts a blot upon his family name / He's just an ungrateful child  / His demeanor is wild / He's just a low buck, outa luck / Wants to drive a pickup truck  / Ungrateful child / chorus: / There's always something wrong  / His hair's a little too long / Some folks are never satisfied / And while I must confess  / He seldom looks his best / There's more before you than what meets the eye / You see he's got to have his fun / Probably will until he's done / Though the society crowd  / Says fun just isn't allowed / He's got to have his fun / chorus:

One Sided Lovers  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
A little too cool a little too cute / Stiletto heels a bathing suit / I was young, a little bit shy / She grabbed my face looked me in the eye / chorus: / Now she's gone, gone, gone, I don't know where / One-sided lovers cover up their love affairs / I was young a little bit naive / She said some things I wanted to believe / Left on my cheek a lipstick trace / I close my eyes I still see her face / chorus: / Next thing y' know I'm in love again / Aint felt the pain since I don't know when / This one was tall her legs were long / Shoulda realized she'd do me wrong / chorus: / Next one was short you might say petite / Looked so fine she knocked me off my feet / But nothing's changed it's all the same / Can't score a point in life's lovin' game / chorus:

What's Your Problem? copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Blind man sittin by the side of the road sees more than you do / Hungry child with a runny nose don't care about the price of gold / Old lady laying up alone in bed / Black and white pictures runnin through her head / Wino waitin' in a welfare line with trouble on his mind
/ chorus:  What's your problem? quit your bitchin' bout the way things are / What's your problem? with your color TV and your VCR / What's your problem? quit your bitchin' bout the way things used to be? / What's your problem? Look in the mirror and see the Bloody problem? / Deaf man listens to his life go by, he hears more than you do / Orphan kid to scared to cry don't know where his mom and daddy are / Gray-headed man in an old folks home waits in vain for a long-lost relative / Widow-woman sittin all alone livin in a dream / chorus:  What's your problem? quit your bitchin' bout the way things are / What's your problem? with your Gucci shoes and your German car / What's your problem? quit your bitchin' bout the way things used to be? /  Look in the mirror and see the Bloody problem? Silent man by the side of the road teaches without speaking / Trucks full of food, then they mine the road / What became of a thing called charity? / Mouths are filled with the taste of war / Generals dream of arms and artillery / In the end if it all comes down/ / They'll be lucky if they don't survive / chorus: What's your problem? quit your bitchin' bout the way things are / What's your problem? with your Chardonnay and your  fine cigar / What's your problem? quit your bitchin' bout the way things used to be? / Look in the mirror and see the Bloody problem?

I Ain't That Kinda Guy  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
The hen chased a rooster said she didn't know why / Rooster turned around and looked her in the eye / he said
/ You shouldn't do that / You shouldn't do like that / Shouldn't do like that / Because I ain't that kinda guy / Mare said to the donkey I ain't no fool / You acting like a donkey, but you're nothing but a mule / You shouldn't do that / You shouldn't do like that / Shouldn't do like that / Because I ain't that kinda guy/ Walked into a night club, it was getting late / Man sat down beside me asked me for a date / chorus: / Saw a pretty lady standing on the street / She made an invitation that was hard to beat / You shouldn't do that / You shouldn't do like that / Shouldn't do like that / Because I ain't that kinda guy

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Remember Mama when you said your love was free? / Now you can prove it / Give your love to me / Put your money where your mouth is / Gimme a little kiss / Those lips look warm and tender on a nasty night like this / Remember Mama, when you said your love was warm?  / Come a little bit closer gimme some shelter from the storm / Put your money where your mouth is / Gimme a little kiss / Your lips look warm and tasty on a nasty night like this / Feel like a rich man and it's you I got to thank / Your sweet honey's just like money in the bank  / Put your money where your mouth is / Gimme a little kiss / your lips look so inviting / on a nasty night like this.

Nothing Comes For Free  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
You can have the things you want / If you want the things you have / But people never want the things they need / tag: / And you can take it from me, nothing comes for free / You can buy what the people sell / But people seldom sell the things you need / So anyway, you buy almost anything you see / tag: / bridge: / Buy and sell and kiss and tell, it's all the same old game / Desire comes, desire goes, you only change its name / You can love anybody that you're with / If you're with anybody that you want / But that kinda love is never what you need / tag: / bridge: / You must choose, but its hard to make a choice / Wise men speak, but you don't hear their voice / The hardest choice is seldom what you choose / tag:

Something's Rainin' On Me copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Something's rainin' on me fallin' from the sky / Something's rainin' on me cloudin' up my eye / Something's rainin' on me down from above / But I ain't complainin' that something is love / Something's gainin' on me I can't win this race/ Something's gainin' on me I gotta give up the chase / Something's gainin' on me like a hawk on a dove / But I ain't complainin' that something is love / Something's liftin' me up I'm light on my feet / Something's liftin' me up my heart just skipped a beat / Something's liftin' me up but when push comes to shove / I ain't complainin' that something is love / Something's holdin' me tight I can't catch my breath / Something's holdin' me tight scares me half to death / Something's holdin' me tight like a hand in a glove / But I ain't complainin' that something is love

The Conversation  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Where is this conversation going? / Or is there something I forgot to say? / The feelings in your heart are showing / You try to hide 'em but there is no way / These sad ideas you're expressing / Where did they come from, / They're all new to me / You're only trying to keep me guessing / Your eyes are closed and you refuse to see / tag: / This is foolish! It seems so foolish! / This is foolish! It seems so foolish! / Where is this conversation heading? / Should we continue? Do you think it's wise? / Why doncha stop the tears you're shedding? / Do me a favor, baby dry your eyes / tag: / Where is this conversation leading? / It's solving nothin it's just causing strife. / Your words have cut me and I'm bleeding! / I need a tourniquet to save my life!

I Saw Her Again  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
I saw her again I saw her last evening / She smiled at me then it was when I was leaving / I realized by the look in her eyes / There was potential romantic potential / I recognized that expediency was essential / Yes, it was essential / Then I saw her again on the street she was walking / I caught up to her and we started talking / I walked her home she  invited me in for some conversation / some stimulation / Talk it was sweet like the coffee she brewed / Sweeter than honey /  / And the morning was sunny / I saw her again it was when I was leaving / But I knew I'd return from the spell she was weaving / That's how it goes there is fortune to find / When you least expect it / You never expect it / That's how it goes you just follow your nose / Sneak up behind it if you want it you find it

Back to Reality copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Back to reality back to the U.S.A. / Back to reality face to face with the day to day / chorus: / Momma, momma, pin a rose on me / You can't go back to what used to be / Back to reality back to the old home town / Back to reality side by side with the up and down / chorus: / Back to reality back to the middle west / Back to reality east is east and you know the rest / chorus: / Back to reality back to the folks at home / Back to reality a gypsy boy no more to roam / chorus: / Back to reality back to the things we love / Back to reality where push is push and shove is shove / chorus: / Home town/ James Brown / Sweet corn/ soft porn / Fast cars/ all night bars / Condos/ condoms/ condemnation

The Fight at the Well  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
You shoulda seen the fight / Down at the well that night / Under the neon light the boys were fallin' down / You shoulda seen the fight / Down at the well that night / Under the neon light the boys were fallin' down / Who do you think coulda caused such a scene? / Whadda you think coulda made the men so mean? / It was her She had the harem hair and oriental eyes / When she smiled her smile she flipped you upside down / She had the harem hair and oriental eyes / When she smiled her smile she flipped you upside down  / How could you blame the boys for being bad / Wanting what you can't have can drive you mad / It was her / She walked away that night she left a mess behind / She acted unconcerned her heart as cold as ice / She walked away that night she left a mess behind / She acted unconcerned her heart as cold as ice / Now all the boys just sit and stare in space / Dreaming about the magic in her face  / It was her / She came from I don't know, took off for who knows where / She left some broken hearts hoping for paradiseShe came from I don't know, took off for who knows where / She left some broken hearts hoping for paradise  / I was the only one who didn't mind / Who am I trying to kid? she left me crying

Lonely For You  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Trapped in an elevator  / Didn't know what to do / Alone in the gloom of a moveable tomb / Wishin' I was trapped with you / Stranded in the jungle  / Lost as I could be / I contemplate this unusual fate / Wishin' you were trapped with me / chorus: / Lonely for you Only for you Lonely for you / Are you lonely for me too? / Marooned on a desert island  / Sharks swimmin all around / I could walk on the water baby  / If I knew where you'd be found / Crawlin cross the desert  / About to die of thirst / If I had choice of a drink or a kiss  / Your lips would  touch me first / chorus: / Mugged in New York City,  / Left with nothing but my pride / I don't need much of anything  / If you are by my side / Lonely for you Only for you Lonely for you / Are you lonely for me too?

I Turn to You  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Who do I turn to when I'm feelin' blue? / Who do I turn to? well, I turn to you / Who do I turn to when I'm old not new? / Who do I turn to?    It's you / Who do I turn to when the sun won't shine? / Who do I turn to? well, I turn to you / Who do I turn to when I've lost what's mine? / Who do I turn to, It's you / Who's gonna scratch my back? give me what I lack? / Who's gonna scratch my back and never let me down? / Who do I turn to when the cold winds blow? / Who do I turn to? well I turn to you / Who do I turn to when I'm feelin' low? / Who do I turn to?  It's you / Who's gonna pick me up? fill up my lovin' cup? / Who's gonna pick me up and never let me down? / Who do I turn to when I'm on the run? / Who do I turn to? well I turn to you / Who do I turn to when I'm almost done? / Who do I turn to?  It's you

And When I Leave  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
And when I leave / And when I leave and go away / And when I leave and go and lock the door behind me, / Please don't try to find me / I ain't comin' back this way again / And when you sit / And when you sit and count the hours / And when you sit and count the hours and minutes we have given, / Don't tell me that was livin' / Those minutes were / The worst years of our lives / And when you look / And when you look inside yourself / And when you look inside yourself and see a face of sorrow, / Don't hold out for tomorrow / My daddy said "Tomorrow never comes"

Leavin' Again  copyright 1987 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Standing on the sidewalk, stunned by the sunset / oceans of emotion, but I'm not drownin yet / Sounds of foolish laughter, people having fun / I'll be disappearing like the red of the setting sun / I am leaving again, but I'll never forget  / All the lovely faces of the people I have met / I am leaving again, but I'll never forget / All the lovely faces of the people I have met / Now the world awaits me outside, but I'm torn up on the inside / Thinking of the places and the faces I have known / But I take something with me, / something I can treasure / The reoccurring pleasure of the memory of you / I am leaving again, but I'll never forget / all the lovely faces of the people I have met / I am leaving again, but I'll never forget / All the lovely faces of the people I have met / It must be the gypsy in me that keeps me on the ramble / Some folks think that it’s a gamble never knowing what's in store / But the ultimate romance is reflected in the glances / And the smiles of chance acquaintances, / Of buddies, pals and friends / I am leaving again, but I'll never forget / All the lovely faces of the people I have met / I am leaving again, but I'll never forget / All the lovely faces of the people I have met
 


Iowa City 1988-1990
corn and pigs and home on seventh avenue

Hymn for the Crusaders  copyright 1988 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Passing through this world of woe  / Wiping tears not truly shed / Everybody has a row to hoe  / Planting seeds of fear and dread / Passing through this world of grief  / Saving souls by taking lives / Barefoot tiptoe-sneaking like a thief  / Clutching hypocritic knives / Passing through this world of pain  / Never looking in the mirror / Proudly hold our flag of Cain  / Winning victories with fear / Passing through this world of spite  / Gath'ring stones for us to throw / Tintype photos black and white  / Flood of blood upon the snow / Passing through this world of tears  / Thinking only of ourselves / What we've sacrificed to win the race  / Lord knows time will only tell / When at last we find our final rest  / All our trials at an end / Thumping books mortifying flesh  / Contemplating sweet revenge / When at last we reach our final goal  / Groping blindly in the night / Realizing as our fates unfold  / We were blinded by the light

What You See Is What You Get  copyright 1989 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
What you see is what you get / The cards are played, the bets are bet / The dice are thrown, the stakes are set / What you see is what you get / What you eat is what you are / Soda crackers or caviar / Derelict or movie star / What you eat is what you are / Who you are is who you know / Hold me tight and don't let go / What you are is what you ea /  / One man's poison is another man's meat / What you see is what you get / I'm the best thing you seen yet / So go on girl get yourself set / What you see is what you get / All you people out on the take / Folks are hungry n' you're eatin' cake / Pretty soon they start to scrambling round / You better watch yourself before they pull you down / What you see is what you get / I'm the best thing you seen yet / So go on girl get yourself set / What you see is what you get

Don’t Cry For Me  copyright 1988 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
There's a big ol' list on your kitchen table / Of the things that you have to do / you try to check'em off at their conclusion / But it seems that you never get through / This one step forward and two steps back / Is a dance done by every one / An expressway called the road to hell / Good intentions that you never get done / tag: / But there’s one thing on the household list / You really don't have to do / Don't cry for me when I'm gone/ You can mop the floor, oil the hinges, / Wash and wax the car / Go downtown do the shopping / Have a drink at the neighborhood bar / Walk the dog, put out the cat, rearrange the furniture / Catalog your CD collection stop wearing animal fur / tag: /  / You can march downtown try to stop the war / Call a friend who's feeling all alone / Volunteer for a telethon give a stray dog a bone
MTV, see BS, watch a war on CNN / do everything that you have to do / but you'll have to do it all again / tag

Skintight  copyright 1988 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Skintight! Don't see how they can walk that way / Skintight! Accentuating the swing and sway / Tonight! I wonder what all of the boys will say / Skintight! / Skintight! love the way you shake that thing / Skintight! look out! you're liable to break that thing / Tonight I hope you'll be giving my bell a ring / Skintight! / Stumblin’,mumblin’, rumblin’ boys out on the street / Scufflin’, shufflin’, rufflin’ feathers of all they meet / All of sudden attention directed to ‘look that way!’ / Unconventional sin-sensational swing and sway / Skintight! Strut and stroll so nonchalant / Skintight! Show everybody just what you want / Tonight everyone knows you're a bon vivant / Skintight!

She’s Got Big Hair  copyright 1988 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
She’s got big hair she wears foundation garments / She’s trying to look like she’s on MTV / She don’t care about her daddy’s comments / She’s gonna be the way she wants to be / His jeans are tight, he wears a leather jacket / He’s got confusing sexuality / From his ears he hangs his true religion / Salvation through commerciality / tag: / It’s vanity insanity what ever happened to humanity / It’s television video hypnotism a substitution for reality / The preacher sobs. He says that God forgives him / The Devil made him do it, don’t you know / And if you want to get to heaven with him / Mail in some money to his TV show /tag: / She’s got big hair she wears foundation garments / Shakin her bacon for the boys to see / Her legs are long she’s anorexically skinny / Just what they see in her’s a mystery / tag:


Yanbu Saudi Arabia
Five years of sand, home-made beer and the beautiful Red Sea 

Yanbu Blues  copyright 1996 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Out from the commission to the streets of old Yanbu /Anywhere you look there sure ain’t nothin much to do / chorus:  / I got the Yanbu blues  I got the Yanbu blues  I got the Yanbu blues / But there is no other place for me to choose / Looking for a woman, I went down to Ladies Street / In their head to toe abayyas all you see is just their feet / chorus: / Even at al-Hassi (that’s a place on the Red Sea) / Girls like whales in veils only wade up to their knee  / chorus: / Driving in this city takes a lot of skill and luck / Wrong way down a one way in a Nissan pickup truck  / chorus: / We’re all in the same boat, we just came here to work / Pakistani, Pilipino, Brit or Yank or Turk  / chorus:

I Ain’t No Monkey on a Stick  copyright 1997 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
I ain’t no monkey on a stick,  / I ain’t no puppet on a string / You move your fingers and expect me to jump / I ain’t about to do no such thing  / I ain’t no monkey on a stick,  / I ain’t no lion in a zoo / I ain’t no dancing bear on a chain,  / So what is up with you / You’re living in a dream,  / Trying to fit me in your scheme / Like I’ve already stated,  / I won’t be manipulated / I got no problems with self-esteem  / I ain’t no monkey on stick  / I ain’t no parrot in a cage / I ain’t no pampered poodle on your leash,  / Maybe it’s time you act your age / You know you’re living in the past  / Trying to make this romance last / You are paying the cost  / By trying to be the boss / you're throwing stones in a house of glass / I ain’t no monkey on a stick I ain’t no monkey on a stick / This situation is making me sick / I ain’t no monkey on a stick

I’ll Do My Best  copyright 1998 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Tell me what you want, tell me what you need, / Tell me what you want, tell me what you need, / I’ll do my best to please you / Tell me your desire, whatever you require,  / Tell me your desire whatever you require, / I’ll do my best to please you  / Oh, I’m down on my knee  / Oh, just tell me what you want  / Baby it’s all yours for free / What is your request,  / I’ll do my very best,  / Just tell me your request I’ll do my very best / I’ll do my best to please you


Istanbul 2000
Back again for two years to spend time with friends and investigate again our favorite place

A Thousand Times a Day  copyright 2000 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
He falls in love a thousand times a day / With every girl he passes on his way / And as he passes he peers through his glasses / They don’t notice him much / He knows it‘s look but don’t touch / So it’s better this way / Imagination is his consolation / He knows that it’s better this way / He falls in love a thousand times a day / He falls in love a thousand times a day / And thinks of all the things that he might say / A song or a sonnet, his heartstrings upon it / The lyrics stay stuck in eyes / To say something wouldn’t be wise / So it’s better this way / Imagination is his consolation / He knows that it’s better this way / He falls in love a thousand times a day / He falls in love a thousand times a day / and thinks about the one that got away / he dreams of a place and remembers a face and a madness that tore him a part / she's still a part of his heart but it's better this way/ imagination is his consolation / he knows that it's better this way / and so he falls in love a thousand times a day

'81 Mercedes  copyright 2000 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Bought a car the other day / My buddies laughed and walked away / But women think the car’s a gas / Might be old, but it’s still got class / It’s an ‘81 Mercedes, A big hit with the ladies / ‘81 Mercedes and the ladies all love t’ ride, ride, ride /Like me it ain’t brand new, / Overheats, sometimes, it’s true / Big, butt-ugly, gray Sedan / Built for comfort like I am / ‘81 Mercedes It’s a hit with the ladies / ‘81 Mercedes and the ladies all love t’ ride, ride, ride / Come on girls. Climb on in! / Buckle up, we’ll take a spin / Straight ahead, eyes open wide / I’m sure you will be satisfied / Brand new cars can catch your eye / On the road, they sure can fly / But ask a girl from any place / Slow and easy…wins the race / It’s an ‘81 Mercedes, a big hit with the ladies / ‘81 Mercedes and the ladies all love t’ ride, ride, ride

The Thing She Calls Love  copyright 2000 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
I don't know what it's all about / Makes me tremble, makes me shout / Sad confusion forming in my mind / Sneaking up on me from behind / I don't know but I been told / Everything shiny might not be gold / I don't know what's come over me / Things I hear and the things I see / I know all the things I'm guilty of / So suspicious of the thing she calls love / I can't eat and I can't drink, / I can't talk and I can't think / I can't run, I can't hide / I can't walk, refuse to ride / I don't know why I feel this way / What's come over me today? / All the things they accuse me of / So suspicious of the thing she calls love / The thing called love's gotta hold on me / Living in a skinful of misery / I don't remember how I got this way / A big mistake was what I made that day / I can't stand, I can't sit / So impatient I can't wait for it / Can't speed up, won't slow down / My name is Mud in this old town / I can't laugh and I can't weep / I toss and turn, afraid to sleep / Those sweet dreams she deprives me of / So suspicious of the thing she calls love / The thing called love is abusing me / The way she acts is confusing me / She says she doesn't see what she sees in me / I guess she was only teasing me / I don't know what's on her mind / Or why she treats me so unkind / I ain't gonna fuss or fight / I might as well just say goodnight / A battle fought, no one won /The bond of love has come undone / The pain in my eyes she's proudest of / So suspicious of the thing she calls love


Nagoya 1990-1993
Sakana, sushi and sashimi, sumo and sake,  Sapporo and sakura

Do Me  copyright 1992 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Do me wrong, do me right, / Do me day, do me night...just do me / Do me high, do me low / I don't have a place to go...do me / Need some affection, / Need some attention to my needs / Can't stand rejection / A life so lonely that it bleeds / Do me in, do me out / Show me what its all about, just do me / Do me wild, do me tame / I'll forget my mama's name, if you'll...do me / I need some romance / A chance to dance the dance of love / I saw your love glance / Like shining light from up above / Do me up, do me down / Do me all around this town, just do me / Show me how you play this game / I’ll forsake my daddy’s name, if you'll do m
e

Speed of Love  copyright 1992 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
I heard a voice moving at the speed of sound / Tried to locate the source but there was no one else around / Crawling through the alleyways sneaking down the street / Pounding down the pathways shuffling my feet / Looking for a lover moving at the speed of sound / I saw a flash of her face moving at the speed of light / Tried to catch another glimpse but there was no one in sight / Looking in the windows peeping in the doors / Spying through a telescope crawling on all fours / Looking for a lover moving at the speed of light / Now I'm a million miles a minute of emotion / Speeding through a vast uncharted ocean / I felt lightning tingle moving at the speed of love / Heaven and hell calling from below and above / Magic and wonder flowing through my veins / Lightning and thunder blowing through my brain / Ecstatic electricity moving at the speed of love / I was livin all my life in slow motion / I have just become a victim of love's potion / I felt a feeling moving at the speed of life / Rocking and reeling, careening and cutting like a knife / Nothing I could say, nothing i could do / First there was nothing then there was you / Moving and grooving, moving at the speed of life

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained  copyright 1991 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
If you wanna get a glimpse of the angel fish / you gotta dive in with the sharks / If you wanna get a look at the moon and stars / You can't be afraid of the dark / If you wanna plant your flag on a mountain top / There's a chance that you're gonna fall / It you wanna hit a home run in the game of life / You might just get hit by the ball / You gotta take a chance of life / You gotta take a chance on love / Standin on the edge of the precipice /  It only takes a little shove / If you wanna understand people from Japan / You have to eat some raw fish / You gotta get in and experience / You can't just sit around and wish / If you wanna win some money in the lottery / You gotta spend a little money on a chance / There's always the risk of a broken heart / In the gamble that they call romance / You gotta take a chance on love / You gotta take a chance on life / A woman can cut you with her kiss / quicker than a kid with a switchblade knife / If you wanna get to London on a jumbo jet plane / There's a chance that the sucker's gonna crash / If you wanna be a player on Wall Street / You gotta invest a little cash / Every bungee jumper knows it's a painful bounce / If your cord's just a little too long / Nobody's gonna hear what you have to say / If you're afraid to sing your song / Nothing ventured and there's nothing gained / Find some pleasure and there's bound to be some pain / Nothing ventured and there's nothing gained / Find a rainbow and you'll probably find some rain


Shanghai
2001 to the present

Reach Out For Deliverance  copyright 2003  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson   

Looking for some consolation, a little peace of mind / In this wicked world we live in, it’s so very hard to find / Not feeling avaricious, don’t want no pot of gold / But it sure would be delicious, a tender hand to hold. / If you feel an empty feeling filling up inside of you, / Reach out for deliverance. My love will see you through / In the darkest midnight hour, when you need a special friend / If you have a lonesome heartache, and a broken dream to mend, / I’m tendering an offer. I don’t think you should refuse. / This is no monkey business, but there is no time to lose. / If you feel a lonely feeling seeping deep inside of you, / Reach out for deliverance.  My love will see you through / First bridge / Through trials and tribulations where only the strong survive, / Emotional vibrations will keep our love alive / The world may swirl around us, confusion fill the air. / When you’re in these loving arms, there’s no need to despair. / If this crazy mixed-up world is falling in on you, / Reach out for deliverance.  My love will see you through. / Second bridge / In this world of plenty where there never is enough, / Forget about the Joneses.  Mama, we don’t need that stuff. / I got some sweet ambrosia, they call the food of love. / I’ll serve you up some romance, just what you’ve been deprived of. / If your heart is hungry, I have food enough for two. / Reach out for deliverance.  My love will see you through

Shanghai Blues  copyright 2003 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson
Taxi on the Gaojia  looking at Pudong / Trying to find a place where I can sing my song   /chorus:  I got the Shanghai Blues, I got the Shanghai Blues, I got the Shanghai Blues but there is no other city I would choose / Push and shove at Carrefour over in Gubei / People running to and fro and every which away  / Down on Xin Tian Di  the girls on the street / Have a wiggle and a wink for every lao wai  that they meet / /chorus: /  Neon lights beckon me to Mao Ming Lu / China girls are checking me I don’t know what to do / Opened up the door and heard some razz-a-ma-tazz / Found myself on stage at the House of Blues and Jazz / chorus: / Now you heard my story and you listened to my song / We don’t need to worry and there’s really nothing wrong / chorus

The Up and Down    copyright 2004  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson

A day of sun and then here comes the rain / A day of sun and then here comes the rain / A little bit of passion then here comes the pain / One day you’re healthy then here come the flu / One day genki then here come the flu / The Up and Down will be the death of you / I don’t know     But I been told  / I don’t know     But I been told   / I don’t know but I been told   / Life is one big up and down  / Girl so pretty   turn the night to day  / Girl so beautiful turn the night to day  / She say she loves you, turns and walks away  / I don’t know     But I been told  / I don’t know     But I been told   / I don’t know but I been told   / Life is one big up and down  / One day happy  suddenly you’re sad  / One day happy  suddenly you’re sad  / The Up and Down will surely drive you mad  / I don’t know     But I been told / I don’t know     But I been told   / I don’t know but I been told   / Life is one big up and down

Too Much Yang  copyright 2004  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson Housedog Music

Went to a doctor down in old Shanghai / Not feeling too good, I said, “I wanna know why!” / He stuck me fulla needles, made me drink some green tea / He poked and he prodded and he tortured me / Then he threw up his hands and said, I can’t do a thing / Cuz you got too much Yang and not enough Ying / Too much Yang!    Not enough Ying! / Too much Yang!    Not enough Ying! / He threw up his hands and said, I can’t do a thing / Cuz you got too much Yang and not enough Ying / I called up my baby looking for advice / She said, “Don’t bug me!” She was cold as ice. / I knocked on her door. She finally let me in. / She said our relationship was wearing thin. / That’s when she returned my engagement right / Cuz I had too much Yang and not enough Ying! / Too much Yang!    Not enough Ying! / Too much Yang!    Not enough Ying! / That’s when she returned our engagement right / Cuz I had too much Yang and not enough Ying! / Went to see a Gypsy feeling lonesome and blue / She looked in my palm, reads a crystal ball too,  / Sprinkled goofer dust and said a magic spell / Tossed a silver dollar down a wishing well / She read my tea leaves and she threw the I Ching / But I had too much Yang and not enough Ying / So I climbed a mountain seeking someone wise / the cave I found was empty but to my surprise / I found a piece of paper underneath a rock / the words that were written there were such a shock / the note said,  "Robert, go and have yourself a fling, cuz you got too much yang and not enough ying".

December Man Copyright 2005 Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson  Housedog Music

There might be snow on the roof, but inside the fire is hot / December man will stir up something in that cooking pot / Lines on his forehead, a wrinkle in his jaw / But there’s a twinkle in his eye, he might break the county law / Silver in the stubble when he makes his morning shave / But there’s liable to be trouble ‘fore they put him in his grave / Watch all you women, he’s gonna show you what he’s got / Snow on the roof, but inside the fire is hot / OK, his hair is getting thinner and his abdomen ain’t flat / But his resume in romance shows he knows just where it’s at / True, he’s built for comfort. Clearly, he’s not built for speed / But this chef has got the recipe for what the young girls need / Watch all you women, he’s gonna show you what he’s got  / Snow on the roof, but inside the fire is hot / He might move a little slowly but he’ll surely win the race / Satisfies desires with a slow but steady pace / If you have an itch, the man was born to scratch / If you want your fire lit, he’s an expert with a match / Look out pretty mama, he’s gonna show you what he’s got / Snow on the roof, but inside the fire is hot

The Blues Chose Me Copyright Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson  2005   Housedog Music  BMI

 I was the number one contender for the young girl’s heart /  Along came a pretender,  tore my dream apart / Now I’m drifting like a ship on love’s stormy sea / I did not choose to have the blues,        the blues chose me /  I gave that pretty little girl all I could  / But I was whistling in the dark, knocking on wood / An inept detective trying to solve love’s mystery / I did not choose to have the blues, but the blues chose me / The blues chose me.  The blues chose me. / I did not choose to have the blues, but the blues chose me / I shoulda seen the situation from the start /  Sometimes an artist has to suffer for his art / Sometimes a lover has to get down on his bended knee / I did not choose to have the blues, but the blues chose me / The blues chose me.  The blues chose me. / I did not choose to have the blues, but the blues chose me /  Sometimes love is beautiful, sometimes sad /  Sometimes it’s the worst pain you’ve ever had / Sometimes you can’t see the forest for those darn old trees / I did not choose to have the blues, but the blues chose me / The blues chose me.  The blues chose me. / I did not choose to have the blues, but the blues chose me

Your Turn to be Blue  copyright 2005 Robert 'One-Man' Johnson    Housedog Music

You made my life a misery / Because your heart is made of stone / You boogie woogie all night long / While I stay home alone / You're burning up the midnight candle / Baby at both ends / I have no time for disrespect / from you and all your funky friends / I got news for you / It's your turn to be blue / Mornings when I go to work / You're out there on some spending spree / Fast and loose was good for you / Honey, now it's good for me / I got news for you / It's your turn to be blue / Your egocentric point of view / My existence is a waste / Can you condemn the recipe / When you ain't even had a taste / Open up your door tonight / You'll find Sugar Daddy gone / The message on the mantlepiece / This time it's time for moving on / I got news for you / It's your turn to be blue / Your pessimistic point of view / Is tour relationship's  a bitch / Your bucket's empty, mine's half full / with all that nonsense that you pitch / When the house is feeling lonely / Baby wipe your weeping eyes /  You thought I was your one and only / Why don't you try this on for size / I got news for you / It's your turn to be blue

Disconnection  copyright 2006  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson    Housedog Music

Ipod jamming that hiphop in your head / Eyes are open but you look like you might be dead / No nerves left inside your ears / Ain’t said a word for several years / You never listened to what your mama said / Prowl the street your ear glued to a phone / Growling like a dog that’s got a bone  / Barking at someone you can’t see / Caged by your technology  / Tail is wagging but your mind is not your own / Bridge: She said, “Old man, Do your own thing, I’ll do mine. / Those days are gone and you’re way out of line. / The times have changed, you’re far behind / Just mind your business, don’t mind mine / What were you doing back in ’59?” / Thumbs are sore from playing that computer game / Violently doling out the pain / Fantasy is what you seek / Defeat the strong, destroy the weak / Blood fixation driving the boy insane / Bridge again: / The internet has trapped you in your house / You can’t escape; your hand’s glued to the mouse / Imagination gone, but then / It must be true, it’s CNN / The lights are on, but no one’s home / Your techno mind is not your own / You’re disconnected from reality / I guess that means they’ve trapped you just like me.

How Could I Know  copyright 2007  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson Housedog Music

How could I know she would treat me this-a way / I didn’t see her changing day by day / The more that I learn the less that I know / About a woman’s glance and how the cold winds blow / Standing at a crossroads wondering which way I should go / How could I know? / How could I know she would walk out that door? / How could I know she didn’t love me anymore? / The longer that I live, the less I understand / About the ways of a woman and the weakness of a man / She holds his fragile future in the palm of her hand / But how could I know? / I didn’t see the forest that was hidden by the trees / Unrequited love brought me down on bended knees / Infected my heart with the lover’s dread disease / I didn’t know, How could I know? / How could I know that love was gonna end? / That she would shun me and disavow me as her friend  / I’ll try to pull myself together and act just like a man / Start my life all over and do everything I can / To jump from the fire back into true love’s frying pan / How could I know?

Talk to the Hand    copyright 2007  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson  Housedog Music

Sick and tired of the cry baby cry / Incessant questions and the why? baby why? / Inverted smile and all that sigh baby sigh / Don’t wanna hear another lie baby lie / Talk to the hand!   Talk!            Talk to the hand! / I’ve had all I can stand!         Talk!       to the hand! / Got me spinning on the run baby run / You promised me I was the one baby one / Constant conflict is no fun baby fun / When all is over and it’s done baby done / Talk to the hand!   Talk! Talk to the hand! / I’ve had all I can stand!  Talk to the hand! / Silence is golden and your talk is cheap / You made some promises that you didn’t keep / / You’re sowing wild oats and that’s what you’re gonna reap / You played your cards now you can read ’em and weep / Talk to the hand!  Talk!  Talk to the hand! / I’ve had all I can stand!   Talk to the hand! / The way you’re acting is a sin baby sin / You know you’re never gonna win baby win / You got my patience wearing thin baby thin / You’re gonna take it on the chin baby chin / Talk to the hand!  Talk!  Talk to the hand! / I’ve had all I can stand!   Talk to the hand!

You’re the One  copyright 2007  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson Housedog Music

You and me were meant to be together / Be together and have a little fun / When you’re with me there’s no stormy weather / You take away the rain and bring the sun / When I’m with you I just can’t stop smiling / Big old goofy grin is on my face / Storms outside, but I can see a rainbow / It’s always sunny somewhere at your place / You’re the one, you’re the one / You take away the rain and bring the sun / I’m a lucky son of a gun / You take away the rain and bring the sun / You can turn the gray sky into blue / Stop the rain and make the flowers grow / Blow the clouds out of the sky / Chase my tears and dry my eye / Mama can’t you see I love you so / You and me were meant for one another / Save each other from a summer storm / You’re my girl, I’m your fella / When it rains you’re my umbrella / Keep me dry, keep me safe and warm / You’re the one, you’re the one / You take away the rain and bring the sun / I’m a lucky son of a gun / You take away the rain and bring the sun

The Song of Love copyright 2008   Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson  Housedog Music

There is a sound that echoes in your ear /A simple song that you can hardly hear /No matter how you concentrate  / It will not disappear / The song of love / When you’re alone, it haunts your reverie / There are no words but the meaning’s plain to see / You close your eyes and try to sleep  / But it won’t let you be / The song of love / Driving in your car, you don’t see the exit sign / You don’t know where you are, you’re running out of time / Feeling so distracted but you cannot counteract / The song of love / When you’re at work, you’re staring into space / You hear a melody that conjures up a face / Your bosses are dissatisfied but you cannot erase / The song of love / A little song is running round your brain / It won’t let up, it’s driving you insane / No matter how you concentrate, that melody remains / The song of love

No Money Down  copyright 2007  Robert ‘One-Man’ Johnson  Housedog Music

 No money down, that’s what the sales people say / No money down, zero interest and 10 years to pay / It’s painless with plastic. It feels so fantastic! / It’s the American way!   No money down / Gimme that 60” plasma TV     / Throw in unlimited satellite too / Do the deluxe home-theatre thing  / With that computer the one that’s brand new / No money down  Let’s buy some more things today / It’s painless with plastic. It feels so fantastic! / It’s the American way!   No money down / I need that big ass, yellow Hum-Vee.   / Three miles per gallon, did I hear you say?/ Screw all that bleeding-heart liberal TV.   / Gimme the keys and get out of my way! / No money down, That’s life in the US of A / It’s painless with plastic. It feels so fantastic! / It’s the American way!   No money down  / Bridge: / Armani bankers with Gold Mont Blanc pens / Patiently wait in the wings / While the President’s soldiers and the President’s men / Put Humpty Dumpty together again. / No money down  Stock market rallied today / It’s painless with plastic. It feels so fantastic! / It’s the American way!   No money down / Look at that three-storey house on the hill / The sign says the owner must sell! / 26 rooms and a ten car garage.   / 2 million big ones, but hey, what the hell! / No money down, what a great game to play! / It’s painless with plastic. It feels so fantastic! / It’s the American way!   No money down